i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
