Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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