I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
