so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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