dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
