i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
