dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
