Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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