I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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