...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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