drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
