carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
