well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
PANTIES FOUND
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
