I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize