you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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