Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
