NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
