Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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