Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
