I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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