Fuck appropriateness.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
