so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
