he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
