omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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