We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
