strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
