dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Still dying that you shit outside
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
