Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
