We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
foreskin is a definite game changer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize
