her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
