At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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