if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
