Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
