i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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