I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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