she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
