Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
