no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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