well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
