shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize