i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
