I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize