i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
