I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
