I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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