you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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