My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
