Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
