ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
