You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
