Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
