He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
someone owes me an orgasm
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
