We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
