it hurts more in the daytime
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
