I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize