I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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