Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize