apparently the secret to your success is patron
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
