Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
