I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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