I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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