wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
